same rules as usual. whatcha got?

CONTENDERS:

The Fast and The Furious IV: Playground Drift
Tagline (in the movie preview guy voice): This isn’t child’s play. (eric wakeling)

K.I.T.T. was unavailable Tuesday afternoon, so Michael Knight had to settle for his back-up ride. (rob c)

“Jumping over the hedge no longer seemed like such a good idea….who is this helmeted freak on my back?” (lars rood)

“It’s a good thing I wore my leathers,” thought Jerry as he leaned into the fierce right hairpin, “because this panda might get the best of me yet…” (mike)

the instructors’ words rang loud as he recalled his advanced training - “paws just before you enter the corner” (tommy s)

Joanna finally began to grasp the humbling impact that age-related dementia could have on the healthy caregiver after she accepted the job as caretaker to the ailing Evel Knievel. (chris)

Exciting preview of the new motion picture, “Crouching Ninja, Hidden Panda” (scottb)

The Taming of Ling-Ling (jeff myers)

Panda Express (brian aaby)

and, the winner is…
panda express (brian aaby). there was just a simplicity to this caption that really worked for me. brian, let me know what YS book you would like.

i just don’t even know what to say about this real product for kiddies…

the article, that goes with this headline:

Spanish king denies shooting drunk bear

ok, this is just sick and wrong, and no one should get any pleasure out of watching this awful, awful little video. really. wipe that smirk off your face!

click on the link (where it says “here”) in this article.

note to wife and kids: christmas is quickly approaching, and daddy thinks a sky car would be a really neat gift. it’s only a TINY bit over two million dollars, so if you kids save your allowance, i’ll give you a ride in it!

you might wonder why a remote-control farting teddybear would make me think of the late mike yaconelli. well…

several years ago, jeannie and i were trying to find a christmas gift for mike and karla. we ended up finding a remote-control fart machine for yac. it became one of his favorite toys. he was especially fond of calling in every new employee at ys, and having them sit in the seat in front of his desk (on the bottom of which he’d attached the fart machine), and, while having a chat with them, pushing the button over and over so it sounded like they were farting. eventually, he couldn’t contain himself and would break down into his trademark hysterical sniggle laugh. it was wonderfully juvenile.

after he died, we gave a remote-control fart maching to every employee of ys as a christmas gift, in honor of yac. yup, that’s the kind of company we are.

so… that in mind: the remote control farting bear would have been right up his alley.

the 3rd anniversary of mike’s death is the 30th of this month.

(ht to bobbie)

this is a hilarious youth ministry version of those “the more you know” ads (that always seem like the star must be getting ‘community service’ credit for some legal offense by making them). it’s also a good viral marketing thing ciy is doing — there’s a whole series of these…

inspired by the bold move of turning best-selling book “your best life now” into a board game (which, apparently, happened a full year ago — i’m just slow), i’m proud to present this list of other christian book-themed board games. round up the family and good ol’ uncle jimmy dobson, and let’s get the dice a rollin’!

christian book board games you may not be aware of

the screwtape letters board game. looks suspiciously like chutes and ladders, but without the ladders.

the purpose-driven life game, “pacifying the mad killer” version. really, it’s just a copy of the book with a highlighted section to read, and a dvd of a kirk cameron playing a killer who’s taken you hostage.

the 21 irrefutible laws of the leader game. for kids 3 - 6. think whack-a-mole with irrefutible laws.

the revolve bible game. it’s really just a card deck of skinny teenage models, with verses printed on the back. kind of a bible memory thing for those who want to reinforce culturally damaging stereotypes of women.

every picture tells a story. what a rip-off. it’s just the original product — a stack of black-and-white pics in a box. obviously a lame attempt by the author and publisher to “repurpose” a product.

exclusion and embrace, the game. kind of like “conquest of the empires” or “risk”, but with super-deep theological insights. the instructions are barely readable without a graduate theology degree.

the left behind board game. it’s an empty box. it was raptured, and you weren’t!

the matthew henry commentary on the bible game. it’s pretty boring, really, but every young aspiring bible school student buys it from CBD because it’s just so darn cheap, and it looks great on the shelf.

a generous orthodoxy game. a game for everyone! rumored to be d.a.carson’s favorite secret pleasure.

yup, a second one this week! just had to. and it’s appropriate, since i’m in texas this week, the home of mega-pastor, best-selling author, joel osteen, progenetor of a theology that could best be described as jesus junk.

but osteen’s theology isn’t winning the award this month. nope, it’s way down the food chain from that.

ready? gather this kids around for this one…

the “your best life now board game“. i kid you not. i somehow missed this when riddle blogged about it a long time (shoot, even ingrid at slice linked to riddle without calling him names). but astute reader “J.H.” mentioned this little-piece-o’-heaven-in-a-box in a comment on my previous post, so i had to google it.

ok, i’m done for now. i have another post brewing thanks to this baby, though.